How to Deal with Feeling Stuck
What to Do When You’re Feeling Stuck
“I’m stuck.” How often have you said those words and how do they make you feel when you say them? Frustrated? Upset? Self-critical?
Pause and be still
Leaves Institute founder, Yumiko Asakura invites us to think differently about our experience of being stuck. Instead of feeling disempowered by it she suggests we see it as a choice we are making – to press pause and be still.
She explained:
“When we feel stuck our spirit, our higher self, is telling us to stop. If it doesn’t feel right to continue moving in the direction we’ve been going in, we have the chance to find a new direction and to clarify what it is that we really want but first we have to stop. This ‘stuckness’ is actually an opportunity for transformation or self-realisation.”
A turning point
None of us likes to feel stuck, but if we can see it as a turning point it helps to soften the experience and turn it into something positive. Yumiko said:
“Change can be hard work because part of our old self has to die for something new to be born and this may be uncomfortable. The feeling of being stuck can arise because we feel resistant to the idea of change. We don’t want to keep going in the same direction but we fear having to change direction because it can make us feel unsafe. Consequently, our spirit asks us to stay still by causing a feeling of ‘stuckness’. And while we may be asking for help from others – even unconsciously – at an energetic level we may be simultaneously blocking it.”
Be playful
A good way of unsticking ourselves is to become more playful. We do not need to try and analyse when we are stuck or to explain it but simply to look around ourselves and distract ourselves by becoming intrigued and absorbed in something else. Yumiko advised:
“Do something that makes you feel good. Walk around outside, touch the trees, the soil, the plants. Often being out in nature helps us to feel more relaxed and this can take us out of stuckness. Walking with no particular purpose – by yourself and in silence - can help you get into a meditative state which can help to unstick you. Or doing something repetitive like chopping vegetables to make soup. I have an untidy cupboard that I go to when I feel stuck as tidying can be very helpful because it keeps us busy without demanding too much thought.
“Give up trying to be effective when you feel stuck and just allow yourself time to play. After all, if you knew how to unstick yourself you’d have done it already, so continuing to think about it won’t help. It’s good to do something else for a while and allow the process to happen naturally. I can’t do much when I am stuck but I know it won’t last and it can be a helpful part of the creative process.”
View the feeling objectively
Sometimes people can benefit from embracing embracing the feeling of stuckness – trying to experience where it is and how it feels in the body - and drawing the feeling can also help. Yumiko explained the benefits of doing this:
“In this way, the feeling of ‘stuckness’ becomes something that is outside of you and separate to you rather than being a part of you. It becomes a more objective thing. Meditation can also help us to observe the feeling of being stuck more objectively.”
What is the stuckness telling you?
It is important to ask ourselves what the feeling of being stuck is trying to communicate to us. Yumiko said:
“When we are stuck it often means that a part of us is not satisfied about something so we might need to ask ‘how can I feel more satisfied in my life?’ And that might mean thinking more about pleasing yourself than other people, following your passion. Sometimes this might look stupid or foolish to others at first but you have to trust yourself enough to be willing to look foolish. This is where something like play therapy can be really good because it connects us with our inner child and gives us the freedom to just experiment. Actually when you do this, you’re doing something really important. Doing nothing is good for our mental health, it’s a great gift to ourselves.”
Leaves Institute currently runs three short courses:
Jikochiyu (Continuous Self-Healing)
Fuku Meiso (Meditation for Health and Happiness)
Zenkan (Transformational Reflection)
Diplomas starting in September 2022 include:
Jikochiyu (Continuous Self-Healing)
Meditation Teaching